its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
