just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
