it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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