New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
