only if we run a train.
done.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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