White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
