She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
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Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
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VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize