Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
