Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
