At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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