it was like his penis was on wheels.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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