he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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