I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize