omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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