I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
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