i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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