Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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