I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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