god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
he quoted the bible to break up with me
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
NoShamevember. You game?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.