Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
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Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
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There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...