Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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