just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream