talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
we're making bets on your personal life
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
