I should be sponsored by Trojan
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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