I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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