take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
