Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
His nipple licking is glorious
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