omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
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I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
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You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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