Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Ladies don't puke and tell
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
