Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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