honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
