And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
