i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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