Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
