? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
