escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
