I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
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It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
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Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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