Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize