I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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