I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I wear drunk well.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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