I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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