i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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