i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
