I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
