Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
