Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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