Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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