I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I am one with the molecules
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
