OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
