And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
