Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just google imaged poop.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
