1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
