Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
