I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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