break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize