I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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