Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I supernannyed him into submission
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
