I like my sex mixed with concussions.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
