Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
me + whiskey = a bad person
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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