Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Im part way to drunk.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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