If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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